Can a Pretending Person Be Convinced to Try Other Ways?

The thoughts of a Wise Leader are not the typical thoughts of a Pretending Person. They might be beyond your ability to convince because:

• Pretending People don’t like to admit they are not able to change their mind about something.
• They don’t know they have the power to not care about something or change how they feel about something.
• They follow the way of “People I care for cannot be the source of any useful ideas.”
• They might secretly be against the ideas of people below a certain age.
• Their way is to only listen to those who have more control over how other people spend their time.
• Their way is to only listen to those who have something they want.
• Their way is to not consider ideas unless they are said with an adult voice.
• Their way is to only communicate with words.
• They are thinking, “Since no one bothered to try my ways when I was young, why should I bother to try other people's ways now?”
• All of their friends feel that way about it. If they change ways, their friends might not like them anymore, and they will feel lonely.
• Someone they trusted when they were very young felt a particular way, and they are worried bad things will happen if they defy those ways!
• Someone told them when they were young that people are stupid if they don’t know that a certain way is the correct way. They trusted them and didn’t want to be seen as stupid, so they kept that way.
• They follow the way of “It’s good to judge parents on everything their kids do.” They are worried that people will judge them poorly, based on what you do.
• They are worried that they will have fewer opportunities to help you grow if the people who give opportunities judge them poorly.
• If they let you do annoying things around them, they think you will grow used to doing that, and upset many Learners and hinder their ability to do good. They don’t think you are smart enough to know to treat different people differently.

You might think someone who cares for you could easily change how they feel when certain things happen, but it is very very hard for them. It might even be impossible! They have Waylock.

Instead of re-evaluating the effect of their actions on you, or considering the reasons behind your action, they may give you a negative label. Some common negative labels are “mean,” “noisy,” “disrespectful,” “shy,” “liar,” or “bad.” You are not any of those things, though.

Since they don’t play with you so you can learn all the ways you could respond to an action, everything you can think of doing will cause them to give you a negative label (even doing nothing may result in them giving you a negative label!). You might have to choose the negative label that you think will hinder you the least.

It might be sad if an Everything Knower, a Self Guider, or a Wise Leader gave you a negative label. But it's very normal for Pretending People to give negative labels before they understand what’s going on, so it’s not worth getting distressed over. Also, they:

• Sometimes forget: They won’t remember that they gave you a negative label a few years or even months or days from now.
• Don’t do much good in their spare time: They do nothing worthwhile that you would want to be invited to join. Even if they don’t like you, it doesn’t matter, because there aren’t any good works they do that you could help them with.
• Never earn a Wise Leader’s trust: Even if a Wise Leader heard a Pretending Person say a Learner had a negative quality, the Wise Leader would probably say something like, “I’ll reserve judgment until I meet them myself.”

Considering these ideas, it might be a good idea not to be sad when a Pretending Person gives you a negative label.