Ins and Outs of the Deviant Approach

Giving up your potential to do good so others can is a great sacrifice. Perhaps, if enough people use the Deviant Approach, the Pretending Person will be overwhelmed with trying to create difficulties to forcefully impel you to stop, so they have to give up. Unfortunately, people who look up to you and think you’re a Self Guider will wonder why you are the kind of person who really really likes this way. It might be difficult to say, “I’m not a Self Guider. I’m just doing it to help a Pretending Person realize their mistake in thinking it’s bad.”

Pretending People do not typically think in terms of:

• “Wow! They would give up all their potential just to try to communicate something important to me, maybe… maybe I should listen.”

• “Oh no, if I hadn’t called them bad for doing that all those years ago, they might have become a Wise Leader and have done lots of good – whoops.”

  They usually think in terms of:

• “Look at what they have become from doing that thing. Oh no, I should have tried harder to stop them from doing it in the first place!”
• “Hmm, they must be dumb to see it as not good. I will have to force them not to do it.”

Also, many people who take this option forget they took it to help Learners reach their potential to be a Wise Leader. They also sometimes end up choosing ways that hurt Learners. They overdo it with liking the experience so much and teasing Pretending People with it so much, that they end up teasing everyone, even Learners!

Exercises: Write down your answers to these questions on another piece of paper.

1. Say a Pretending Person doesn't like it when a Learner tells on other Learners when they break one of their rules. Which way to handle it would they probably NEVER think of on their own, no matter how much you believe in them?

   1. They give the Learner telling on other Learners the negative label of “tattle tail,” and get mad at them and try to make them feel bad.
   2. They admit to the Learner that they are a Pretending Person, and tell them that means it’s OK to not spread their ways to others. They would say they are sorry for tricking you and try to make things right.

2. Imagine you are the leader of a large group of people. One day, you decide to make a random rule without giving them a reason why. What will happen?

   1. They will accept your rule and follow it very closely.
   2. They will break the rule and tease you about it.
   3. They will break the rule secretly.
   4. They will try to stop others who break the rule.
   5. All of the above.

3. Say you never share the reason you made something against the rules with the people you lead, no matter how much they demonstrate they believe in you?

   1. More people will keep on following you closely.
   2. More people will lose hope in you and break the rule.
   3. Things will stay the same.

4. What will happen if you tell the people who enforce the rule you are proud of them, and they really helped you. Now they deserve to know the true reason for the rule and you will listen to their ideas.

   1. Most will accept your correct judgment and praise.
   2. Most will be surprised because they were doing it to avoid getting in trouble. They were not trying to do the right thing.

5. What will happen if you tell the people who break the rule you are proud of them, and they should not follow rules that don’t make sense without a reason. Now you will listen to their ideas.

   1. Most will accept your correct judgment and praise.
   2. Most will be surprised because they were being naughty to make you mad for fun, and they were not really trying to do the right thing.